It started in the Spring of '89. Peri was 18, well travelled, tall and handsome. He had no concept of jealousy. He was chivalrous, spontaneous and a bird lover.
He took me places I'd never been. The ballet, faraway mountains and the depths of my imagination. When we ate breakfast at Melbourne's fanciest venue, the Hyatt on Collins, his eyes sparkled while Edith Piafs Non, ne je regrette rien crackled over the speakers. He wanted to impress me. I remember thinking it was weird he liked opera! We were an unlikely pair.
In a time when a landline was the only form of communication, I planned chance meetings. I waited for the phone to ring. Checked the dial tone when it didn't, and tried to think of good reasons to call him. I practiced sounding genuine.
Fate bought us together - over and over again. Destiny, and his lust for walkabouts, kept tearing us apart. He came in and out of my life like a proverbial yo-yo, oddly that's what he used to call me. Our relationship status was 'if you love someone let them free,' when they come back they're yours, but only for short bursts of intense drama"
It was a long-distance, drawn out relationship. For years I dreamt him beside me and woke with empty arms. It became an obsession that manifested into an A-grade addiction. It spawned journals, poetry and lyrics to unfinished rock ballads.
It was all 9 planets aligned, love at first sight, don't tell me it's not true love, I'll always love you, no-one understands our love, I want you to be a mountain, you'd rather be a river, cliche after cliche, unrequited love. Neither of us found what we were looking for.
Letting go was the lesson. Cry me a waterfall, but the year finally came when I couldn't cry anymore. I let go of the fantasy.
Peri taught me that my words affected other people, in ways I couldn't predict. Emotions didn't exclusively belong to women. Men feel too.
It was a long-distance, drawn out relationship. For years I dreamt him beside me and woke with empty arms. It became an obsession that manifested into an A-grade addiction. It spawned journals, poetry and lyrics to unfinished rock ballads.
It was all 9 planets aligned, love at first sight, don't tell me it's not true love, I'll always love you, no-one understands our love, I want you to be a mountain, you'd rather be a river, cliche after cliche, unrequited love. Neither of us found what we were looking for.
Letting go was the lesson. Cry me a waterfall, but the year finally came when I couldn't cry anymore. I let go of the fantasy.
Peri taught me that my words affected other people, in ways I couldn't predict. Emotions didn't exclusively belong to women. Men feel too.
Have you ever invested all your emotions into one person? Fallen in love with someone you thought was an Eagle (partner for life) but turned out to be more of a Rooster?
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Cock-a-doodle-do 26 Greatest loves of my live #atozchallenge |
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The A to Z challenge. My theme and links to the 26 Greatest loves of my life.
cant say that i've had any roosters but man oh MAN have i had some romantic cant eat until i see you again true loves!
ReplyDeleteThat's funny Pam, one thing that has never let me down is my appetite :)
DeleteYes...they were all roosters before my husband. I remember all of them. Odd isn't it?
ReplyDeleteMy eagle is my husband Mike
LOVED this one.
I like your posts Ida. They're make a pleasant read, getting to know the personas of the roosters/men who crowed in your life:)
ReplyDeleteI had a crush on one such person...But I realised he was a waste of time...I guess it's right we need to meet all the wrong people before meeting the right one
ReplyDeleteP for Petrified-Random Thoughts Naba
Hi Nabintha, I don't believe my relationship with Peri was a waste of time, every step I've ever taken led me to where I am now. I really couldn't have asked for a better 'first love' not to mention I was wrong for him too.
DeleteHappened to me few times....all I can say, may be they are not worth it...but i can totally relate to your post...but it hurts....
ReplyDeleteCertainly the hours, days, weeks (years) mourning over them is not worth it... The addiction/obsession hurts but I don't think it's the other persons fault... we are ultimately responsible for the people we attract, and how we let them affect us.
Deleteglad it was still working but torturing yourself a little more because there wasn't a good excuse for why he still hadn't rung... :D
ReplyDeleteI'm really enjoying your posts, Ida. Such a fascinating life you've led with all your loves. Sorry your Eagle turned out to be a Rooster but it sounded fun while it lasted. Yes, I've had a few Roosters (or more like turkeys!) in my time whom I thought were my Eagle. Sigh.
ReplyDeletehttp://cattitudeandgratitude.blogspot.ca/2014/04/p-is-for-porridge-pot.html
http://cattitudeandgratitude.blogspot.ca/2014/04/p-is-for-porridge-pot.html
Thanks Cathy, even turkeys need love :D I had fun with the Rooster, 50% of the time - though I used to say 90% was good (I didn't know better at the time!) some of the best times I've ever had were those times I was hanging out with other Chooks... when we miserable about the Roosters. Glad you found your eagle and thanks for visiting
DeleteIda I'm gonna have to come back after the frenzied April is gone and read through all your love-posts, loved whatever I've read. I do feel for you...of course I've been in that situation, empty arms and tsunami's of tears at first and a dry desolation after...but thankfully we move on and we heal and so all is well :)
ReplyDeleteI hope I never cry a tsunami of tears, that would be reserved for unexpected tragic losses - not the heartbreak of shattered egos and unmet fantasies. Some of us move on easier than others, some people opt out before they heal themselves...I know reading about other peoples experiences helped me. I hope you do come back Sunila I love your comments.
DeleteI remember the landline days. Being in love was the only thing that actually propelled me to make phonecalls because I am not a phone person.
ReplyDeleteAmazing where love takes us and what we will do for the sake of it ;) Thanks for sharing Margaret
DeleteYou have had so many interesting experiences. Nice to meet and connect through the AtoZ challenge.
ReplyDeletehttp://aimingforapublishingdeal.blogspot.co.uk/
All of us have been in these situations, I think. BUt only few of us are brave enough to write about it. Congratulations on another heartfelt post.
ReplyDeleteDamyanti, Co-host A to Z Challenge April 2014, My Latest post
Twitter: @AprilA2Z
#atozchallenge
Thanks for the positive feedback Damyanti... I wish I was more brave sometimes :)
DeleteI'm glad you've found your Eagle!
ReplyDeleteLove your love-post.
I've definitely had some roosters. Phew. :)
I found my eagle too and now he is my BALD eagle. Enjoying your love posts.
ReplyDeleteCarol @ Battered Hope
That's hilarious Carol. Bald Eagles are the most revered of all Eagles I guess their shiny heads must be some sort of beacon of light :) :)
DeleteOh, boy. That kind of love is ... well, I'm just glad I've had a few. They make us feel to the depth of our souls - both soaring ecstasy and wrenching hearbreak. I wouldn't give those boy-men up for anything because they are some of my most colorful memories. When I'd finally get over the angst, I'd write, "He belonged to the world, not me."
ReplyDeleteDoes anybody ever really belong to anyone else. I live without regret though I do think we all have the right to forget at least one relationship/mistake in our search for love. I like roller coasters at theme parks now, but prefer my love life to cruise along rather than soar and fall. Thanks for sharing your poetic thoughts Bemuzin
DeleteYes, I've experienced that. It was crazy and frustrating. I'm glad it ended.
ReplyDelete