Back to year eight in high school (13 years old) . By this stage I knew exactly why Ken wanted to meet me after school behind the library. I couldn't wait for the bell to ring.
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He had perfect teeth and a beautiful smile. He was about the same height as me. We met every afternoon and perfected the art of breathing through our nostrils, for as long as possible. After a week or so his Mum started getting concerned about why her son was coming home later every day.
Occasionally someone would come to his rescue and let him know she was out looking for him. He would try to make it home before she did.
We had to cool it off for a bit. Every lunch time I waited for him to finish playing soccer and hoped he'd be able to meet up after school - all too willing. One night I wrote him a letter. I snuck out after dinner and rode my bike to his house to hand deliver it.
The next day he was mad at me for getting him in trouble. His mum opened the letter before he did. He never even got to read it. When she found out I wasn't even the same nationality, she started waiting at the gates for him every afternoon. I was furious at the injustice of her racism, invasion of our privacy and more than anything that he would never know what was in my the letter or see the stamp of us I drew on the envelope. I was accused and blamed for something beautiful and it turned ugly. My Mother found out. I felt so childish.
He forgave me but kept his word to his mother. A few of the girls knew he was free game after that. I'm pretty sure he just wanted to keep kissing whoever got there first.
Relationships were starting to get complicated.
Have you ever failed to gain approval, or had your heart broken by a third party?
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That's so unfair!
ReplyDeleteI've been the heartbreaker in my relationships, I have to say - normally though because I've been the one to admit things aren't working first.
Sophie
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I've see-sawed between both heart breaker and broken... Sometimes I just didn't want to see it
DeleteHi Ida .. gosh I agree - that wasn't the right thing to do .. to open his letter ... so young though to have your heart broken .. still things are definitely much better now! Cheers Hilary
ReplyDeleteI'm still a little while away from heartbreak...but it certainly was shame inducing and disappointing. Thanks Hilary.
DeleteIf only we could all find out true loves right away and not have to experience the pain of heartbreak(s) but such is a life lesson most must learn. I absolutely love your theme!
ReplyDeleteThanks Heather, funny how we learn the same lessons in different ways...
DeleteOh, yes, I've been there...
ReplyDeleteI'm glad i was just 13
DeleteThat's a tough experience. I've definitely been there too, so I sympathize.
ReplyDeleteThanks for visiting The Busy Mom's Daily.
It was short lived, I think I loved the kissing more than him :)
DeleteGosh - controlling mother. Although I guess I may yet turn out to be the same.
ReplyDeleteI reckon... but seriously if you saw a love letter to your 13 year old, would you tell him/her off because someone thought they were amazing? That goes beyond controlling...
DeleteOh my, haha, poor Ken having a difficult mother to deal with so young.
ReplyDeleteBut i guess lesson learnt the hard way.
Love it!
Glad you can see the funny side of it Missy... I just re-read and laughed again too.
DeleteThis is a bittersweet story.
ReplyDeleteThere seem to be people like Ken's mother in every country in the world.
Thats some tough lesson early in life. Its not a good idea to open others' letters even one's child. I am not happy about this modern 'parental monitoring', I think we parents should be confident in our kids and about the ideals and values we have taught and ingrained in them. Being around and non judgmental should help as well.
ReplyDeletemid 80's there was nothing modern about this type of parental monitoring...She thought I was some wanton woman (girl) that was going to take her son's innocence away, before her over reaction, we were innocent.
DeleteReally Gary, I wish you had have read my Jeremiah love story instead... I hate to be responsible for for reminding you of unfair ripple effects... but I dare say, it was the ripples that led me to seek out boys with really open minded cool mums :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for coming, I'm always thrilled to see you again.
Ah to get do harsh when u guys were just kids...I pity that boy...how many girls were disapproved by his mum as he grew eh?
ReplyDeleteMy mother NEVER looked at my diaries or my mail. She said her mom (who was otherwise perfect) snooped in her stuff and she vowed not to ever do that. I passed that courtesy onto my children. As long as they didn't give me reason to go through their things, they could have their privacy.
ReplyDeleteSorry about the racism. How stupid. Huh?
Racism was quite normal back then...it was a tough life for immigrants (still is). I fought against it from an early age, I never expected it to come from other immigrants :) - I'm pretty sure my Mum didn't take my childhood secrets seriously enough to ever bother checking through my diaries... and if she did she never told me.
DeleteAw, Ida--you made me laugh, then you made me angry, then you made me sad. How unfair, yes--and how representative of reality. I'm trying to remember if I ever had a third party break up a relationship of mine; I'm sure there must have been, but I can't think of any instance right now. I would've felt so furious--and so helpless, especially if the reason was race-based and nothing to do with me personally. I'm sorry you had to learn about the complications of prejudice by losing Ken.
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping over at Life In Dogs yesterday--always love seeing your name in the comments :)
Hi Guilie, I now see clearly how wrong I got the order of this post, I would have preferred to have you laughing at the end... but a laughs a laugh, right? Losing Ken sounds so dramatic lol - and likewise re: the comment love :D
DeleteOh my - I was smiling and nodding and breathing through my nostrils until that awful Mom got in the way of a budding romance!! What troubled times we all had, eh? "beginning to get complicated" describes it in a nutshell. \
ReplyDeleteI know I drove my Mom crazy chasing me and my hormone-raging junior high boyfriend around our barns and outhouses. She just knew we were up to no good (except good makin' out!!)
amuzin bemuzin - I would never have been brave enough to kiss a boy anywhere near the vicinity of my mother. I'm pretty sure my budding romance would have ended before to long regardless :)
DeleteDang. Relationships are complicated enough without a third party interfering. :)
ReplyDeleteIt would've been one thing if his mom just didn't want him dating yet, but to stomp on a relationship simply because you weren't greek is so wrong. I hope people are more accepting now. Great story, thanks for sharing. Stopped by to catch up on last weeks letters.
ReplyDeleteYes let us not forget we were only 13 (and my mother wouldn't have been happy with what we were up to) Sometimes I think people are just as bad, and much more accepting the world over. I do think it's getting better though :)
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