A is for Abundance. A-Z challenge - Words of change -

abundance |əˈbəndəns|
noun: a very large quantity of something 

My abundance story is a bit 'special' - because it has to do with hearing voices while I was in a New Age shop, looking for a bell.  I saw and was about to touch it, when a message, in my head, said "Everything you need you already have." It was a gentle, calm male voice, not just a memory of my mum telling me not to touch everything.

No point looking over my shoulder, this speaker was in my brain. I was curious, and a little spooked. I didn't buy the bell.  I never heard that message again, but I thought about it every time I looked at bells, shoes, junk food or anything else I didn't really need.

Fast forward 3 months and still no bell, the market season was coming to an end, and the message still made no sense until early one Autumn morning. My neighbour, a big punch drunk sailor, came to visit me after his 4 month trip to Europe, with a gift. He was a man of few words, especially when he was sober. "This is for you, I thought you might like it"

His carefully wrapped gift was unexpected. I had sailed with him a few times and helped him seal the deal on his apartment but I was surprised to even get a visit. I screamed with delight when I unwrapped the present and saw my new bell.  He's not into 'the hocus pocus' but he thought it was strange, both the voice and that he had bought me the bell. It's old fashioned looking, painted light green with a wooden handle. It wasn't anything like the bells I had seen, but 3 months ago my guiding voice was right. I did already have what I needed, it was already mine just in another part of the world. My perfect bell,  it's tone, and the memory, are both lasting.

"Everything you need you already have." 

If you're reading this blog then you have abundance in your life.  Can't find a new outfit, it's fine to wear an old one.  Can't find your shoe size, there's a better pair for you, somewhere else.  Feeling jealous that someone else is succeeding - scarcity is invading your thoughts.  There is always plenty of what we need, for everyone, and with the right attitude you can have some too.  Give with abundance, but please don't be greedy, take only what you need.

If you're not getting what you want, can't do it, afraid of it, miserable or apathetic your forgetting abundance, (not all the good ones are taken or gay - they just might look a little different to what you expected :)) -

If your visiting from the A-Z challenge I wish you an abundance of inspiration.  

Are you a bit 'special'?  What have your voices told you?

Two days to go. Copenhagen, theatre and drama.

Two days to go till the A-Z blogging Challenge  begins.  Check out my A-Z challenge - words of change - list here.  I've managed to write and schedule my first four posts - what a relief.  I will be going to Copenhagen for a few days in April, to see this years, Wallmans Show in the Circus building, it's a yearly tradition we have with the Captains parents,  it includes lots of 'festivities', and it's hard to keep up with Danes when they are being festive.  It's nice to know I'm a little ahead of schedule.

Hopefully I will get a couple more posts done over the weekend.  My only problem is that having my words sitting there waiting to be published, makes me want to edit and delete a lot.  I am really trying to keep every post at around 400 words.  If I can drop that down to 200 even better, but it's not easy.  When those memories start flowing, the stories start growing.  The point of this exercise, for me, is to find a style and voice I am comfortable with, I also want to have some fun in Blog land and connect with other people.

When the whole Internet and chat room phenomena first started I always said I would never make friends with people online because I had enough drama in my real world. I'm amazed at how opposed I can be to the very things I desire most.  It also took me 11 years to realise that the Captain was the perfect man for me.  I am so glad the only theatrics in my life now are in historic buildings with great performers, in places like Wonderful Wonderful Copenhagen.  No more drama's only seasons.

A totally unrelated question but one that keeps popping up for me.  Do you like Captains name?  What do you call your partner?

A-Z challenge list. Words of change.

My little deck of Magic Spirit Cards have been around for a long time. Each card is about the length and width of two fingers, small enough to fit in my hand luggage so they have travelled all over the world with me. I wished they weren't called Magic Spirit Cards, so I created my own decks, called Magic Moments - but I didn't really like that name either.

They are just words, typed on the back of small cards, not tarot cards, but I have used them to do readings, and yearly, weekly or daily meditations.

I have, at times, used them obsessively, to the point of distraction, and frustration too - when I didn't get the word I was hoping for, or worse still - the word I was dreading.

I don't remember where I got them, the only trademark or name on them is a drawing of  a sun with the letter 'e' in it, (I'll post a photo in an update).  I don't know who created them, but whoever it was - Thank You - because they have given me lots of stories.

I use them now for sentimental sake, if I am quiet long enough I know exactly what word to use.

In honour of my Magic Spirit Cards I dedicate my  A-Z challenge blogs to the words that changed me.


The deck has 49 cards remaining in it, and the list already has close to 80 words.  I will choose one from each letter for the challenge in April, and lets just say, I'm pretty pleased that I have fodder for the next few months lying in this list, and I know I will add to it.

Words in black are from the Magic Spirit Card deck.  There are a few letters of the alphabet missing, so the red words fill in the gaps, which I found while trawling the net on this very helpful emotional identifier list.  The green words have been sumbitted in the comments.

I chose positive words that jumped out at me. I will save the negative's for after the challenge. I can see myself referring to this list a lot.

I'm really surprised by the three *** marked words that weren't in the deck,  I must have lost them, or maybe they are bookmarks in some of my favourite books.

Action
Aliveness
Abundance  - A is for Abundance Day one

Beauty
Balance - B is for Balance day 2
Bliss

Courage
Consciousness
Clarity - C is for Clarity Day 3
Communicate
Contentment: submitted by Life is Good

Discovery
Dream - D is for Dream Day 4

Embrace***   E is for Embrace Day 5
Experience
Extraordinary

Forgive
Freedom - F is for Freedom Day 6

Give
Grateful  - G is for Grateful

Harmony
Heart
Humility x 2 - H is for Humility

Intuition I is for Intuition
Imagine
Immaculate
Integrity

Joy- (Joie d' vivre) - 

Knowledge
Kaleidoscope: submitted by Writer-in-transit 

Love
Laughter

Movement
Magic

Nurture
Nifty
Nuance: submitted by Writer-in-transit 

Okay
Open
Ownership

Purpose
Prosperity
Pleasure
Perception
Psyche: submitted by Susan Scott
Phantasmagoric: submitted by Shannon Lawrence at  The Warrior Muse

Quiet***
Question
Quote: Submitted by Susan Scott

Respect
Receive
Responsible
Release 

Simplicity
Spirit
Sexuality
Surrender
Serenity
Sensuality
Success
Synchronicity: submitted by Susan Scott
Serendipity: submitted by Writer-in-transit

Tenderness
Think:  submitted by Hilary Melton-Butcher at Positive Letters...inspirational stories...
Truth
Transmute
Tryst: submitted by Writer-in-transit
To-get-her - Just because it's the working title of the book I'm writing :)

Universal
Understand***


Vivacious
Vibrant: submitted by Writer-in-transit

Willing
Wild
Watchful
Wonder
Warrior: submitted by PV Ariel (Phil)

from xoxo to XD
xanadu
Xerox: submitted by Klahanie

Youthful
Yearning
Yield

Zen 
Zany 
Zealous
Zippy



Please let me know in the comments, if you've got a favourite word (and why), that I can add to the list.




A-Z Challenge List

Healing with feeling words.

lo·qua·cious   - talkative, chatty,

I remember the first time someone used the word loquacious to describe me, it felt like a nasty judgement, an unqualified diagnosis of mental illness, maybe the look of disaproval had something to do with it.  It means 'talks a lot', and plenty of people have pointed their finger at me for talking too much. I admit it, I was uncontrollable, some people even fell asleep while I was talking to them.  I was uncomfortable with silence, and I tried to fill it.

There is a whole industry based on Talking the pain away,  there's even scientific studies to prove it actually works.  When I couldn't talk I wrote, and when I didn't write, I put up a literal smoke screen around me, with whatever I could, whenever I could. When I was with my dear ex, who encouraged everyone to talk out their problems, I stopped writing.  At first I thought it was because I was happy and had nothing to complain about. I realise now, that I was hiding the truth.

So many of my clients have had problems with talking - I always consider it a breakthrough when they start discussing the people in their lives, particularily the ones that annoy them... it's our relationships that bring out the best and worst in us, and tapping into those emotions is a path to healing.  Sometimes I think my penance for talking so much is listening, and I love it.  Some people are really afraid to share their thoughts/feelings and that's when writing becomes the key.  Better out than in.

Perhaps I should have saved this for my L post during the A-Z challenge, but it isn't a word in the 'magic spirit card' deck I'm using and there are so many other L words on my list like Love, Laughter and Linger.

Let it Go

Let it go,
Let it out,
Let it all unravel,
Let it free
And it will be
A path on which to travel.

One of my favourite Leunig cartoons and poem.




 

Writing helps me.

Registering for the A-Z challenge has already changed my perspective. I've gone from total avoidance to -  I can't wait till the 1st of April to start writing.  I just now figured out now - I don't have to wait!

I started this blog 3 years ago, and have managed to ignore it so well that I stopped feeling the guilt about not pursuing it further, and even thought I forgot it existed on my 'to do' list.

There seems to be lots of 'unwritten' rules about blogging, and so many options it all became too hard/boring/useless - I couldn't be bothered... There has also been a hefty dose of self criticism about the value of my words and thoughts.  It's one thing for someone to approach me for access to my own stories thoughts and feelings but is it egotistical to put them out there for everybody to read, most of all the people I know?

If other people can do it, I know I can too, but is it necessary?  Hasn't it all been said and done before? What if I succeed and have to do book tours and be recognised,  I'll have to lose weight and buy more new clothes...  ramble ramble ramble *gets off track - forgets blog*

3 years of ignoring it meant 3 years of self harassment. The load has suddenly become lighter.

I forgot that I started it just because I wanted to write - do what you love and the money will follow, right? I used to write a journal in my twenties and no longer cringe at the cringeworthy bits, I love them. I never knew what I needed, but I knew how I wanted to feel and I'm on the right track. By my standards I'm doing better than expected.  Writing helped me get here.

Now I'm living in a foreign country it's not easy to communicate myself while trying to grasp a new language, but in some ways it's easier, you can't hide behind a wall of spoken words, you have to listen. You have to do, rather than say.  Body language and expressions speak volumes, and so do other people if you let them.

I've had a lot of time to reflect, now I'm ready to share.

A-Z

Time for a new challenge, after Nanowrimo I have been off the writing wagon.  Time to get back on again and the A-Z blog challenge looks like fun, as well as a good excuse to finally get this blog moving.

Blog everyday in April except Sundays, and it has to be A-Z, theme or no theme is up to the blogger/writer.  I am pretty sure I will choose a Magic Spirit Card word each day, Abundance, beauty, calm etc etc... and the stories I associate those words with.  A journey into emotions, metaphysics and healing. With any luck I might end up with fodder for a self help book, or at least a theme for my next novel...

Want to join in?  Here's the sign up link. A-Z sign up